OK, IT WAS ACTUALLY A THURSDAYY

On the occasion of his showcase at L.A.'s Peppermint Lounge (which attendees agreed was a knockout), Def Jam artist Fridayy huddles with label boss Tunji Balogun (r) and manager/A&R exec Edgar Cutino to share his dream of someday obtaining that coveted third "y." You know, we've been making these jokes for 37 years now; it's probably time to stop expecting them to get any better.

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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