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Thursday, July 28, 2016

ANNI ARCHIVES: HELL TO PAY

With our 30th Anniversary Issue swinging toward us like a proverbial wrecking ball, we present yet another find from the seemingly boundless HITS photo archives. Christian hair-metal lads Stryper undoubtedly had to pray extra hard after posing with our ungodly rag, not to mention visiting our offices, which were redolent—as ever—of corned beef, weed and exotic porn. 30 years later, we're still beyond salvation. Speaking of which, have you booked your ad yet?

 
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HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
Check It Out Now
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
Check It Out Now
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
Check It Out Now
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
Check It Out Now
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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