WIGGIN' WITH FALL OUT BOY

"Hey there, sugar muffin," murmurs Pete Wentz of DCD2/Island's Fall Out Boy to the alluring stranger with the jet-black bangs. "How'd you like to explore the tour bus of a chart-topping—wait a minute, you're no groupie...you're manager Bob McLynn of Crush Music, no doubt sporting an Uma Thurman wig to help us promote our hot current single, 'Uma Thurman.' Still, you're a tall glass of water, and that's no lie."

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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