BE YE WARNED

We suggest you approach online media reports today (our own excepted) with a degree of skepticism, boys and girls. Because in case you hadn’t checked your calendar or the upper right-hand corner of your iPhone, it’s April 1. This public-service announcement has been provided by HITS—we’re your fools 365 days a year.

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		HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER VRRMMMM (5/17a) Check It Out Now NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a) Check It Out Now OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a) Check It Out Now THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a) Check It Out Now STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a) Check It Out Now
		THE NEW UMG Gosh, we hope there are more press releases. TIKTOK BANNED! Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is. THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT No, not that one. TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST Now 100% unlicensed!

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BE YE WARNED

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