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In-House Dimwits Pick Their Faves Of Y2K
Lest we forget, one of the words in the term "music business" is "music." The top 10s below are for albums unless otherwise noted.

Karen Glauber
1. Travis, “The Man Who” (Independiente/Epic)
2. Black Box Recorder, “Facts Of Life” (Nude U.K.)
3. Doves, “Lost Souls” (Astralwerks)
4. Jayhawks, “Smile” (American/Columbia)
5. PJ Harvey, “Stories From The City…” (Island)
6. U2, “All That You Can't Leave Behind” (Interscope)
7. Beachwood Sparks, “Beachwood Sparks” (Sub Pop)
8. Shelby Lynne, “ I Am Shelby Lynne” (Island)
9. International Noise Conspiracy, “Survival
Sickness” (Epitaph)
10. Air, “The Virgin Suicides” (ST, Astralwerks)

Guy With The Goggles
Top 10 L.A. waterin' holes

1. The Casting Office
2. Coach & Horses
3. The Room
4. El Compadre
5. The Frolic Room
6. Chez Jay
7. El Coyote
8. The Starlight
9. Pineapple Hill
10. Tiki Hut

Roy Trakin
1. Eminem, "The Marshall Mathers LP" (Aftermath/
Interscope): Words are my thing, and these were the
funniest rhymes to come out all year. If dissing were
an Olympic sport, he'd be our Gold Medal-winning
Poet Laureate. "The Real Slim Shady" and, especial-
ly, "Stan," were the singles of the year.
2. Radiohead, "Kid A" (Capitol): The anti-hype hype
record of the millennium (so far) won me over with
its insular solipsism and spooky soundscapes.
3. Outkast, "Stankonia" (LaFace/Arista): There's a riot
going on, post-rap division, with "Ms. Jackson" lead-
ing the way.
4. U2, "All That You Can't Leave Behind" (Interscope):
Getting back with Jimmy Iovine apparently en-
couraged them to get back to the sound they had
with him, too. Once again reaching for anthem
status, but this time with some humility thrown in.
5. Johnny Cash, "American III: Solitary Man"
(American): Making his peace with the Grim Reaper;
refusing to go gently, either.
6. Steely Dan, "Two Against Nature" (Giant): So finely
polished as to finally achieve smooth-jazz status,
with the cantankerousness of two dirty old men who
still lust after their pubescent cousins.
7. Queens of the Stone Age, "Rated R" (Interscope):
Doing the monster thrash by offering more bong for
your buck and a Dionysian heart that never over-
whelms its formalist head.
8. Mickey Katz, "Greatest Shticks" (Koch): Klezmer's
answer to Spike Jones wears a Jewish star on his
sleeve.
9. Grateful Dead, "Ladies and Gentlemen…The
Grateful Dead" (Arista): This recording from a series
of Fillmore East shows in April '71 features the band
at its performance peak, shortly after Pigpen left and
the whole thing literally grinded to a halt.
10. Jill Scott, "Who is Jill Scott? Words and Sounds, Vol.
1" (Hidden Beach/Epic): This year's post-hip-hop
soul diva is, at once, more real than Badu, more ac-
cessible than Hill, more sensual than Gray.

Top 10 singles
1. Eminem, "Stan"/"The Real Slim Shady": Concrete
proof he knows what he's doing.
2. Outkast, "Ms. Jackson": Slamming social con-
sciousness with a nudge and a wink.
3. Nelly, "Country Grammar (Hot…)": Simply irresistible.
4. Madonna, "Music": Discrete beats for the bourgeoisie.
5. NSYNC, "Bye Bye Bye": Teenpop with frisson.
6. Everclear, "Wonderful"/"AM Radio": 2000 garage
band version of Outsiders' "Time Won't Let Me"
7. Dr. Dre, "Forgot About Dre": How could we?
8. Destiny's Child, "Jumpin' Jumpin'": The "rich" man's
"Who Let The Dogs Out?"
9. Sisqo, "Thong Song": Flossin' all the way to the bank.
10. Elton John, "Tiny Dancer": "Almost" feel-good hit of
the year.

Michelle S.
1. Jill Scott, "Who Is Jill Scott?" (Hidden Beach/Epic)
2. Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek, "Reflection Eternal" (Priority)
3. St. Germain, "Tourist" (Blue Note)
4. Outkast "Stankonia" (LaFace/Arista)
5. Papa Roach, "Infest" (DreamWorks)
6. Lucy Pearl, "Lucy Pearl" (Beyond)
7. R. Kelly, "TP2.com" (Jive)
8. Moby "Play" (V2)
9. Slum Village, "Fantastic, Vol. 2" (Good Vibes)
10. Snoop Dogg, "The Last Meal" (Priority)

Simon Glickman
(In no particular order)
Aimee Mann, "Bachelor No. 2" (SuperEgo)
John Linnell, "State Songs" (Zoe)
Nina Gordon, "Tonight and the Rest of My Life" (WB)
Outkast, "Stankonia" (LaFace/Arista)
Stew, "Guest Host" (Telegraph)
Fiona Apple, "When the Pawn..." (Clean Slate/Epic)
Me'Shell Ndegeocello, "Bitter" (Maverick)
Elliott Smith, "Figure 8" (DreamWorks)
Shelby Lynne, "I Am Shelby Lynne" (Island)
Jill Scott, "Who Is Jill Scott?" (Hidden Beach/Epic)

Todd Hensley
Top five FedEx drop stations

1. Burbank: 11340 Sherman Way (between Burbank
& Tujunga)
2. Manhattan: 537 W. 33rd (W. 33rd & 11th Ave.)
3. Santa Monica: 4170 Del Rey Ave. (between Lincoln
& Maxella)
4. Manhattan: Drop box at corner 55th & Madison
5. Sherman Oaks: 16633 Schoenborn (at Havenhurst)
When it absolutely, positively has to be an add this week.

Bud Scoppa
Here's the subjective soundtrack to a morning jog—or two—through the neighborhoods of Studio City and Sherman Oaks. It's on these runs that I do most of my listening, after transferring the music I want to hear from CD onto a genuine 20th century artifact—the audiocassette. Below is the sequence of a 90-minute tape containing some of my favorite songs, hooks and riffs of 2000. Note: I'm anal enough to want the track times right next to the titles—so dock me. And by the way, my entire top 10 (and then some) is represented on this compilation.

During my run this morning (12/21), I stopped at the newsstand on the corner of Laurel Canyon and Ventura to check out the compilation CD attached to the latest issue of the U.K. monthly Q. Lo and behold, a bunch of the acts from the top 10s on this page wound up on Q's best-of-the-year disc, including the specific tracks I'd selected from the Doves, Coldplay and Johnny Cash. Go get this CD—it's definitely worth the price of the magazine—or hit me up for a copy of mine.

“Ventura Boulevard”: Y2K tracks
1. Dandy Warhols: “Bohemian Like You” (3:31)
2. Doves: “Here It Comes” (4:51)
3. Coldplay: “Yellow” (4:30)
4. Shelby Lynne: “Thought It Would Be Easier” (3:54)
5. Steely Dan: “Janie Runaway” (4:08)
6. David Gray: “Babylon” (4:26)
7. Lowell George: “Two Trains” (demo, 3:19)
8. Bob Dylan: “Things Have Changed” (5:10)
9. Richard Ashcroft: “Crazy World” (4:58)
10. Ryan Adams: “Amy” (3:46)
11. Radiohead: How to Disappear Completely (5:57)
12. Aimee Mann: “Red Vines” (3:44)
13. Travis: “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?” (4:25)
14. Matthew Sweet: “So Far” (3:17)
15. Kennedys: “Here Without You” (2:41)
16. Coldplay: “Trouble” (4:30)
17. Dandy Warhols: “Godless” (5:20)
18. Johnny Cash: One” (3:53)
19. U2: “Walk On” (4:57)
20. Neil Young: “Razor Love” (6:29)
21. Jayhawks: “Smile” (3:50)

Live performances
I don't get out much anymore, but I did drag myself to three transcendent shows this year, and even paid for one (in chronological order):
1. Steely Dan @ Universal
2. Neil Young @ Santa Barbara County Bowl
3. Radiohead @ Greek

Kenya Yarbrough
1. Pharoahe Monch, "Internal Affairs" (Rawkus)
2. Outkast, "Stankonia" (LaFace/Arista)
3. NSYNC, "No Strings Attached" (Jive)
4. Dr. Dre, "2001" (Aftermath/Interscope)
5. Ruff Endz, "Love Crimes" (Epic)
6. Musiq Soulchild, "Aijuswanaseing" (Def Soul/IDJ)
7. Rage Against The Machine, "The Battle Of Los
Angeles" (Epic)
8. Creed, "Human Clay" (Wind-Up)
9. Joe, "My Name Is Joe" (Jive)
10. Brian McKnight, "Back At One" (Motown)

David Simutis
1. Radiohead, “Kid A.” (Capitol): Despite what Marc
Pollack might say, it's brilliant.
2. Grandaddy, “Sophtware Slump” (V2): Pavement,
“Dark Side Of The Moon” and the Flaming Lips meet
post-technological ambivalence.
3. Neko Case & Her Boyfriends, “Furnace Room Lul-
laby” (Bloodshot): Making classic country sound as
timeless and expressive as can be hoped for.
4. At The Drive-In, “Relationship of Command” (Grand
Royal/Virgin): Like trying to eat a hamburger the
size of your head.
5. Joseph Arthur, “Come To Where I'm From” (Real
World/Virgin): Murky and earnest.
6. Doves, “Lost Souls” (Astralwerks): “No, we've never
heard of the Verve.”
7. Travis, “The Man Who” (Independiente/Epic): “No,
we've never heard of Radiohead.”
8. Shelby Lynne, “I Am Shelby Lynne” (Island): You
sure are.
9. Steve Earle, “Transcendental Blues” (E-Squared/
Artemis): Alive and kicking out the jams.
10. Amon Tobin, “Supermodified” (Ninja Tune): Oh, to
be young and smoke pot for days on end while listen-
ing to paranoia-inducing trip-hop/jazz soundscapes.

Donna DeChristopher
1. Tsar "Tsar" (Hollywood)
2. Face To Face "Disappointed" (Beyond)
3. Speedbuggy "Cowboys & Aliens" (Cargo)
4. Frankie Machine "One" (Mammoth)
5. Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers "Honky Tonk
Union" (Emma Java)
6. At The Drive-In "Relationship Of Command" (Grand
Royal)
7. Dynamite Hack "Superfast" (Interscope)
8. Ryan Adams "Heartbreaker" (Bloodshot)
9. Swingin' Utters "Swingin' Utters" (Fat Wreck Chords)
10. Reverend Horton Heat "Spend The Night In The Box"
(Time Bomb)

Top 10 outfits
1. Red plaid Catholic schoolgirl skirt #1
2. Black crocodile pants
3. Black leather knee-high boots
4. Four-inch hot-pink Barbie shoes
5. Leopard pants
6. Pink & red faux-snakeskin mini-skirt
7. Red plaid Catholic schoolgirl skirt #2
8. Black strapless dress
9. Audrey Hepburn-inspired black sheath
10. Joey Heatherton-inspired sheer black blouse and
satin bell-bottoms

John Lenac
Top 10 excuses from programmers
1. "It's too hard." (I don't really "get" this hard stuff. I
hope it flops, because I'll look like a clown if it
breaks.)
2. "It's too mellow; we need harder stuff now." (Oh shit.
I forgot this label has that hard song everyone else is
playing but me.)
3. "I have issues with the tempo. We don't play anything
this slow." (I hope they don't reference the songs with
the same tempo that we banged a few months ago.)
4. "We're gonna wait and see." (I wonder if it's any
good? I need to find out if any of my staff likes it.)
5. "I haven't seen it come across my desk. Shoot me
another copy of the pro and include a couple of full-
lengths so I can get to know what the band is all
about." (The used-CD store doesn't give me as much
for the CD single. Quick thinking on the full lengths.)
6. "If I had the slot, I'd be all over it." (Hopefully, if I
keep them at bay for another few weeks, it won't be
a priority for the label anymore.)
7. "It's in the short stack." (Which reminds me, I need
to have the promotion director put more of these
lame CDs in the van.)
8. "I just don't hear it." (Gee, I hope they serviced it
already. I hate getting caught in lies.)
9. "I don't buy into the hype." (But for the right price,
I'll add it and endorse it for you.)
10. "We gave it a test spin and it didn't react." (Oops. I
told them last week I didn't want to hear about top-
five phones everywhere because we don't care
about phones.)

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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